-The Big Birth Blog-
This is going to be a longer blog than my last few… This is because there is a lot of information to get in here. I’ve never actually written this down before. I don’t think I’ve ever really gone into this much detail about the birth before, so here goes nothing….
Disclaimer; Its not at all sunshine and roses. It’s also not exactly common what happened at the birth of George, if your squeamish maybe catch us on the next one….
If you have read my previous blogs, you will of got the general jist of how I wanted the birth to go. How I fixated on this wonderful, magical episode and rush of emotion when my baby was passed to me and placed on my chest. Seeing him for the first time after nine long months. The blind date where I knew I would meet the love of my life…
On Monday 8th July 2019. I was drinking A LOT of raspberry iced tea, I had clary sage oil pouring out the diffuser. I wanted George to be here (I am still confused as to why I wanted to rush the process along, but we are where we are). I sat watching friends on Netflix, on my third litre of water and third glass of raspberry iced tea… My partner had gone to the gym at around 7pm that night. When he left I had a shooting pain in my tummy, I thought it could be a Braxton hicks because it wasn’t anything major but you never know. I then had this sudden huge urge to go to the loo, I mean, one second I was fine the next…. IM GONG TO WET MYSELF!! Pretty obvious considering the copious amounts of fluids I had consumed.
After my toilet break I went back to the lounge and again I AM GOING TO WET MYSELF came back. This repeated around seven times in 15 minutes until I thought is this my waters? Are they breaking? So I decided to pop a pad on and sit on (what I like to call a puppy training pad). I rang my partner and explained the situation he decided to come home. As he was on his way, I then rang my mum and she told me she would be setting off now.
All arriving to the house at the same time, chatting away over a cup of tea and BOOM there it was, my waters broke. Slightly embarrassing on the sofa in front of your mum, dad and brother…. We rang triage and they had asked us to make our way to the hospital with all soiled pads etc.
So, there I am in hospital legs ‘akimbo’ with this wonderful midwife who confirmed, yes, my waters had broken and no I had not dilated at all. She told me baby was engaged, head down and ready to go. She also told me that because my waters had broken but there was no sign of baby, that I needed to go home, get rested, eat and let nature take its course. If baby didn’t make an appearance by Wednesday I was booked in for an induction at 9am. When your waters break there is risk of an infection, so they need to get the ball rolling if it doesn’t come along naturally.
Home I went, terrified, didn’t sleep and ate a load of rubbish. Great work Kel. Still no contractions, I felt nothing. Before I knew it, it was Wednesday, 9am, tired way less food in me than I should of had, and about to get things moving with my mum and partner by my side. We had our own room with a bathroom and sofa which was not too shabby I must say. This midwife examined my belly and said again yes, baby is engaged head down and that she would be putting a small amount of gel on my cervix to basically make it realise “oh, ok so baby needs to come out now”. She did warn me that it will feel a bit aggravated and can be a little uncomfortable. She said that they leave it for around 6 hours and if nothing has happened, we will take you over to the labour ward. She then said and I quote “oh the stuff they will give you over there is like dynamite”.. You can just imagine my face hearing that.
Six long hours later still not even a twinge. I was really past the point of anxious by then, I didn’t want dynamite put into my vagina! I was tired, anxious and about to be carted over to the labour ward without any form of labour.
The room we were in was tiny, no natural light and just a bit depressing. I was told at this point I wasn’t allowed a water birth anymore. Slowly but surely my idea of a perfect birth was just slipping away and it was all out of my control. We put the monitors on and his heartbeat was ticking away nicely, he was happy as Larry in there. I remember looking around the labour room while crying and getting really scared and spotting the hospital cot in the corner. It was see through, it had a baby patterned mattress cover and I remember thinking, he’s going to be in there. At some point he will be in that cot. I found comfort in that, I found drive in that to see that cot. Ladies, look for the cot!!
The canula, oh the bloody canula… They tried to put it in my right hand, popped through a vessel and blood was everywhere. I forgot to mention, I had a trainee midwife with me, but it turns out the midwife administering the canula was also a trainee. (GREAT STUFF) They went to my left hand and placed the thickest needle into my proximal wrist crease (where your thumb meets your wrist) that was sore. Really sore. I'm sure to this day that wasn't in correctly.
My mum, bless her, had done her absolute best to make it as ‘homey’ as she possibly could. We had faux candles, the lights were low, and we had spa like music playing quietly in the background it was around 4/5pm by this point and the midwives were reading over my birth plan. As I’ve said before after reading it I think they just understood what I wanted, and I think felt sorry for me that it clearly wasn’t going that way. I was told that they would be drip feeding me milligrams of oxytocin, they would be giving me more every half an hour for the next 6 hours. The max I believe they can give you is 36mg, the midwife told me “but you won’t get to that point. "Your first baby? You're young you won’t see 36mg.”
SIX HOURS LATER!!!! 36mg of oxytocin circulating my body, still not one contraction, still no baby. By this point I was making the midwives scratch their heads. They couldn’t understand what was going on. I had four midwives in the room with me, five at one point. “right, we are going to have to do a stretch and sweep and an internal to see what’s going on”. Now, because I had a trainee midwife everything, she did to me someone else had to “go in” straight after to check it was correct. Three stretch and sweeps later..... ONE AFTER ANOTHER!! The pain was something else, I had gas and air for that believe me. No warning just whole hand inside me poking away at babies head. It was like a take a ticket to the show moment. They did tell me we can feel babies head but you’ve only dilated 1cm. Oh, and your waters haven’t broken at all, so we are going to have to break them….. HUH?!
At that point I saw one of the five midwives now in the room look at the rest and twitch her head towards the door as if to re-group outside. I’ve now got nothing left to give, I'm so emotional, exhausted and just want it to be over. I felt like I’d gone from being a person to a thing they just wanted the baby out of.
The midwives came back in wheeling an ultrasound machine. My first question was “is he ok?” Replied with “yes he’s fine we are just checking to see why things aren’t moving along.” She popped the jelly onto the ultrasound probe and onto my belly. She was up near my ribs and I saw the screen. I just said “that’s his head. He's the wrong way around?” The midwife closed her eyes in disappointment and agreed with me. “Yes, he is breech Kelly. I’m so sorry”. I asked, “what now?” again, in their words “we give you three minutes to cry about it and then your in for an emergency C-section. I was in BITS I couldn’t believe it, that kind of cry you do when your watching the ending of Marley and me you know, sobbing.. My mum broke down crying which gets every girl seeing their mum cry. I'd never even comprehended a C-section. I did no research for that? Shit.
Before I knew it the surgeon was in talking through the procedure, I signed a sheet of paper that scared the life out of me. Then, there I was shaking from the spinal tap and the screen between my tummy and head my partner in scrubs next to me. I couldn’t feel my legs at all, and it was such a weird feeling. I have no idea how they do it but I didn’t feel a thing, all I know the shaking was out of control.
This is were I start crying reading this back….
At 3:12am on the 11th July 2019 George was born, I heard him cry. Here it was the magical moment I’d waited for…. Not the case, I saw half of his head over the screen and then he was whisked away to get weighed and cleaned up. I wasn’t the first person to hold him, I didn’t get to see him properly, my moment was stolen from me. All because the midwives got it wrong. When he returned with a little hand knitted hat on he was placed on my neck/face. I couldn’t see him STILL! I was just grateful he was here, and he was ok. But someone passing you a baby that you just have to just believe came from you…. Odd.
Then after about two minutes he was removed from me and taken down the hall to my mum. I didn’t even get to see her reaction to him.
Still numb from under my boobs down and all stitched up I got to see him. This little purple ball of person. He was perfect, he didn’t cry he was just super hungry and sleepy.
Not a moments rest though. As breastfeeding was instigated just 15 minutes after I was stitched up… I could not believe that I could produce milk as quick as that! Straight after the placenta is born it kicks in. Who knew! Exhausted, emotional, feeling like id failed, hungry and in pain, yet so in love, I began my breastfeeding journey...
Which leads me onto my next blog….
I told you it was a long one, if you’ve read to here you’re a warrior. Thank you for listening to my rambling! Thank you for reading the hardest thing I’ve ever been through…. Here’s my little thank you to you. Use the code BLOG10 for 10% off your whole order at Byron & Medina. 😊
How was your birth? Were you happy with the midwives? Did anyone go through what I did? Or feel how I did? Comment below.
Lots of love,
Kelly & George x