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-The Big Birth Blog-

by Kelly Enos on August 27, 2020

This is going to be a longer blog than my last few… This is because there is a lot of information to get in here. I’ve never actually written this down before. I don’t think I’ve ever really gone into this much detail about the birth before, so here goes nothing….

Disclaimer; Its not at all sunshine and roses. It’s also not exactly common what happened at the birth of George, if your squeamish maybe catch us on the next one….

If you have read my previous blogs, you will of got the general jist of how I wanted the birth to go. How I fixated on this wonderful, magical episode and rush of emotion when my baby was passed to me and placed on my chest. Seeing him for the first time after nine long months. The blind date where I knew I would meet the love of my life…

On Monday 8th July 2019. I was drinking A LOT of raspberry iced tea, I had clary sage oil pouring out the diffuser. I wanted George to be here (I am still confused as to why I wanted to rush the process along, but we are where we are). I sat watching friends on Netflix, on my third litre of water and third glass of raspberry iced tea… My partner had gone to the gym at around 7pm that night. When he left I had a shooting pain in my tummy, I thought it could be a Braxton hicks because it wasn’t anything major but you never know. I then had this sudden huge urge to go to the loo, I mean, one second I was fine the next…. IM GONG TO WET MYSELF!! Pretty obvious considering the copious amounts of fluids I had consumed.

After my toilet break I went back to the lounge and again I AM GOING TO WET MYSELF came back. This repeated around seven times in 15 minutes until I thought is this my waters? Are they breaking? So I decided to pop a pad on and sit on (what I like to call a puppy training pad). I rang my partner and explained the situation he decided to come home. As he was on his way, I then rang my mum and she told me she would be setting off now.

All arriving to the house at the same time, chatting away over a cup of tea and BOOM there it was, my waters broke. Slightly embarrassing on the sofa in front of your mum, dad and brother…. We rang triage and they had asked us to make our way to the hospital with all soiled pads etc.

So, there I am in hospital legs ‘akimbo’ with this wonderful midwife who confirmed, yes, my waters had broken and no I had not dilated at all. She told me baby was engaged, head down and ready to go. She also told me that because my waters had broken but there was no sign of baby, that I needed to go home, get rested, eat and let nature take its course. If baby didn’t make an appearance by Wednesday I was booked in for an induction at 9am. When your waters break there is risk of an infection, so they need to get the ball rolling if it doesn’t come along naturally.

Home I went, terrified, didn’t sleep and ate a load of rubbish. Great work Kel. Still no contractions, I felt nothing. Before I knew it, it was Wednesday, 9am, tired way less food in me than I should of had, and about to get things moving with my mum and partner by my side. We had our own room with a bathroom and sofa which was not too shabby I must say. This midwife examined my belly and said again yes, baby is engaged head down and that she would be putting a small amount of gel on my cervix to basically make it realise “oh, ok so baby needs to come out now”. She did warn me that it will feel a bit aggravated and can be a little uncomfortable. She said that they leave it for around 6 hours and if nothing has happened, we will take you over to the labour ward. She then said and I quote “oh the stuff they will give you over there is like dynamite”.. You can just imagine my face hearing that.

Six long hours later still not even a twinge. I was really past the point of anxious by then, I didn’t want dynamite put into my vagina! I was tired, anxious and about to be carted over to the labour ward without any form of labour.

The room we were in was tiny, no natural light and just a bit depressing. I was told at this point I wasn’t allowed a water birth anymore. Slowly but surely my idea of a perfect birth was just slipping away and it was all out of my control. We put the monitors on and his heartbeat was ticking away nicely, he was happy as Larry in there. I remember looking around the labour room while crying and getting really scared and spotting the hospital cot in the corner. It was see through, it had a baby patterned mattress cover and I remember thinking, he’s going to be in there. At some point he will be in that cot. I found comfort in that, I found drive in that to see that cot. Ladies, look for the cot!!

The canula, oh the bloody canula… They tried to put it in my right hand, popped through a vessel and blood was everywhere. I forgot to mention, I had a trainee midwife with me, but it turns out the midwife administering the canula was also a trainee. (GREAT STUFF) They went to my left hand and placed the thickest needle into my proximal wrist crease (where your thumb meets your wrist) that was sore. Really sore. I'm sure to this day that wasn't in correctly.

My mum, bless her, had done her absolute best to make it as ‘homey’ as she possibly could. We had faux candles, the lights were low, and we had spa like music playing quietly in the background it was around 4/5pm by this point and the midwives were reading over my birth plan. As I’ve said before after reading it I think they just understood what I wanted, and I think felt sorry for me that it clearly wasn’t going that way. I was told that they would be drip feeding me milligrams of oxytocin, they would be giving me more every half an hour for the next 6 hours. The max I believe they can give you is 36mg, the midwife told me “but you won’t get to that point. "Your first baby? You're young you won’t see 36mg.”

SIX HOURS LATER!!!! 36mg of oxytocin circulating my body, still not one contraction, still no baby. By this point I was making the midwives scratch their heads. They couldn’t understand what was going on. I had four midwives in the room with me, five at one point. “right, we are going to have to do a stretch and sweep and an internal to see what’s going on”. Now, because I had a trainee midwife everything, she did to me someone else had to “go in” straight after to check it was correct. Three stretch and sweeps later..... ONE AFTER ANOTHER!! The pain was something else, I had gas and air for that believe me. No warning just whole hand inside me poking away at babies head. It was like a take a ticket to the show moment. They did tell me we can feel babies head but you’ve only dilated 1cm. Oh, and your waters haven’t broken at all, so we are going to have to break them….. HUH?! 

At that point I saw one of the five midwives now in the room look at the rest and twitch her head towards the door as if to re-group outside. I’ve now got nothing left to give, I'm so emotional, exhausted and just want it to be over. I felt like I’d gone from being a person to a thing they just wanted the baby out of.

The midwives came back in wheeling an ultrasound machine. My first question was “is he ok?” Replied with “yes he’s fine we are just checking to see why things aren’t moving along.” She popped the jelly onto the ultrasound probe and onto my belly. She was up near my ribs and I saw the screen. I just said “that’s his head. He's the wrong way around?” The midwife closed her eyes in disappointment and agreed with me. “Yes, he is breech Kelly. I’m so sorry”. I asked, “what now?” again, in their words “we give you three minutes to cry about it and then your in for an emergency C-section. I was in BITS I couldn’t believe it, that kind of cry you do when your watching the ending of Marley and me you know, sobbing.. My mum broke down crying which gets every girl seeing their mum cry. I'd never even comprehended a C-section. I did no research for that? Shit.

Before I knew it the surgeon was in talking through the procedure, I signed a sheet of paper that scared the life out of me. Then, there I was shaking from the spinal tap and the screen between my tummy and head my partner in scrubs next to me. I couldn’t feel my legs at all, and it was such a weird feeling. I have no idea how they do it but I didn’t feel a thing, all I know the shaking was out of control.

This is were I start crying reading this back….

At 3:12am on the 11th July 2019 George was born, I heard him cry. Here it was the magical moment I’d waited for…. Not the case, I saw half of his head over the screen and then he was whisked away to get weighed and cleaned up. I wasn’t the first person to hold him, I didn’t get to see him properly, my moment was stolen from me. All because the midwives got it wrong. When he returned with a little hand knitted hat on he was placed on my neck/face. I couldn’t see him STILL! I was just grateful he was here, and he was ok. But someone passing you a baby that you just have to just believe came from you…. Odd.

Then after about two minutes he was removed from me and taken down the hall to my mum. I didn’t even get to see her reaction to him.

 Still numb from under my boobs down and all stitched up I got to see him. This little purple ball of person. He was perfect, he didn’t cry he was just super hungry and sleepy.

Not a moments rest though. As breastfeeding was instigated just 15 minutes after I was stitched up… I could not believe that I could produce milk as quick as that! Straight after the placenta is born it kicks in. Who knew! Exhausted, emotional, feeling like id failed, hungry and in pain, yet so in love, I began my breastfeeding journey...

Which leads me onto my next blog….

I told you it was a long one, if you’ve read to here you’re a warrior. Thank you for listening to my rambling! Thank you for reading the hardest thing I’ve ever been through…. Here’s my little thank you to you. Use the code BLOG10 for 10% off your whole order at Byron & Medina. 😊

How was your birth? Were you happy with the midwives? Did anyone go through what I did? Or feel how I did? Comment below.

Lots of love,

Kelly & George x

 

 

3 comments
by Leah on June 13, 2021

Hi Kelly, felt emotional reading your story so sorry you had to go through that sounds horrible! My baby girl is 14 months now I had her a month into the first lockdown absolutely petrified! All started with the restrictions of birthing partners getting tighter, to be told I could only have 1 and my mum not being able to be with me during this amazing time broke me in 2 I cried for days! On top of that I had to enter a hospital (during a pandemic) which was even more scarier! Anyway …. 23rd April 2020 I had my show @ 9pm didn’t think into it and went to bed as normal then @ 11:30pm (while asleep) my waters broke, phoned the hospital was told if no contractions by 9am to go in, 1.5hrs later my back started hurting so got in a warm Bath to ease it… well that surely kick started my contractions it started to get intense! Rang the hospital @ 2am “no don’t come in yet it’s your first your cervix wouldn’t of done much” 45 mins later …. “I can’t take the pain” “ ok Leah come on in” due to Covid my partner had to leave me at the main entrance until I had been examined and was in “active labour” so in I wobble contracting every 2 mins NO1 in sight haven’t a clue where I’m going & in absolute agony ON MY OWN … to finally getting on the delivery suite to about 6 midwives having a chin wag …. thank god when I was examined I was 4cm and my partner could come up after 8hours in painful labour and 1 hour pushing my lockdown baby Lily-Rose was born on the 24th April 2020 @ 9:17am. I was beaming with joy until I got home and reality hit … we are in lockdown & I can’t see anybody & am dying to show off my baby, I will never forget my dad coming to window visit on the 25th April and I sobbed like a little school girl snotty nose hand on the window gaaaaasping for a hug off my dad 😔 still aches my heart to this day thinking about it! #ihatecovid

by Shannon on June 05, 2021

I’ve just read your birth experience and honestly I feel you!
I had my little girl in March of 2019, scared and very young I felt like the midwifes were judging my age. It all started on the 26th of March where I’d said to my boyfriend shall we have one last night of fun before she arrives (go play pool or something) so off we went. When I walked through the front door at home my waters BROKE! absolutely terrified as my midwife had told me that my waters would probably stay intact because it’s a myth that your waters break 🤦🏽‍♀️ I was even more terrified once I’d realised my waters were brown 😢 ( she’d done a poo inside me) I was told and I had read that this is extremely dangerous! On arriving at the hospital there was no room for me so I had to wait in this tiny side room with no windows, no one had checked my little girl, even after me telling them about my waters and I hadn’t felt her move. Fast forward a few hours and the pain was just unbearable so I opted for the epidural. I had a trainee (don’t get me wrong I’m all for training but when it comes to sticking a huge needle into my spine I was petrified) I finally thought I can meet my baby soon! Wrong the epidural failed as she had put it in wrong, so I had to go through all this again! Then being told when I was pushing that I was loosing far to much blood and I could hold my baby when she was born! Heartbroken 💔 the guy who delivered her and the midwife looking after me had a full scale argument whist I’m trying to push about me being aloud to hold her. Lost story short she arrive safe and well on March 27th. I’m still so petrified of what happened xxxx

by Bethany on January 22, 2021

Hi Kelly, I came over here from tiktok (I’m the girl that commented on your tiktok about your little boy being ill) I can honestly say you have my complete sympathy when it comes to not having the birth you wanted and how odd it feels when you don’t feel or see them being born, all those magical moments you imagine get stolen away from you and that is quite hard to process.

My little girl, Ayla (pronounced the same as Isla) was born by emergency C-section as she was too high up to push out and her hate rate rocketed. When she was born she wasn’t breathing so they had to take her across and resuscitate her, she was then whisked off to SCBU where she had millions of wires, tubes and all sorts of tests done to her, all while I was stitched up and taken back to recovery. I got a brief glimpse of her as they wheeled her out but I was so off my tits on whatever it was they gave me I didn’t really process what was going on until later, once I’d finally seen her.
I can’t really remember the first time I held her really because I was still very much in a daze but i know I was petrified of catching her oxygen tube or something, she had so much coming off her, it was extremely daunting. As soon as I was wheeled into the room to see her a good few hours later, she was born at 7:50am 22nd July 2020 – and I didn’t get to see her until I’d say 1.30pm, I just burst out crying because she was just so helpless and there wasn’t anything I could do really to help her.

Luckily though she was only in SCBU for 2 days and she was brought up to my room on the Thursday night and then the Friday afternoon we were let home. She is now 6months old today (22nd January) and a complete monster!

On the midwife turn of things, my midwife that I was given throughout my pregnancy was terrifying, she was so ditzy and all over the place not a chance in hell was I going to let her deliver my baby, thankfully though the midwives I had during my labour and who looked after me afterwards were incredible. I spent most of the time I was in there balling my eyes out to the point even with the covid restrictions they ended up giving me special visiting hours so my sister could come up and spend longer with me (I lost my mum in 2017) 🙈 I did however have some horrendous midwives when I’d been in for reduced movements a few times, Ayla was also breech up until I was 37 weeks and I had an ECV to spin her round and then had a few scans abs check ups in the week after and the midwives were just awful, so rude and obnoxious, thankfully didn’t see any of those whilst in labour!

Sorry for the extremely long life story😂 I hope you’re little boy is on the mend now and you can relax without the bucket for a while!
Keep safe and doing what you’re doing – you are absolutely smashing this☺️❤️

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